My Feminist Rant About My Irrational Anger Towards Disney Princesses

I have put it out to our families, that my daughter does not get any princess toys where the princess needed to be rescued by a man or change herself for a man.  And DO NOT call my daughter a princess.  God, that makes me cringe.  I tarred all the Dinsey princesses, except Belle (she saves the beast and heroically trades herself for her Dad), Elsa and Anna (sisters were true love’s kiss), with the same brush.  Snow White, you are a moron.  Cinderella, you annoy me.  Ariel, YOU CHANGED WHO YOU ARE TO MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU, everything you stand for I hate and you make me irrationally angry.  Screw the Disney Princesses!  The Paper Bag Princess will be my daughter’s hero!  While on a rant of how much these Disney princesses make me angry, my Mom pointed out, it’s not a bad thing to be rescued.  Perspective.  Ok, Snow White, it is not your fault that witch poisoned you and you needed to be kissed to wake up, you shall pass, but emphasis on being rescued, not necessarily by a man.  You also get points for your retro aspect.  Cinderella, the more I thought about it, you are rescued by the fairy godmothers, ok, and you too shall pass.  Shame on me for judging.  ARIEL DOES NOT GET A PASS AS YOU ARE A MORON, yeah I know I am judging but too bad, Ariel is a twit. 

I have always been a feminist.  I used to view that word as a dirty word as television always seems to mock it to the point I didn’t want to be called a feminist.  I used to proudly boast I am an equalitist.  The same thing.   Now I proudly boast I am a feminist.  I want my son and daughter to be feminists too, equalitists.  Strong like Belle not morons like Ariel. 

I want to raise my daughter to be a strong woman.  I tell her every day she is so smart, before or after I tell her how beautiful she it.  I had read an article while I was pregnant on how people compliment young girls for their looks.  “Look how cute you are.  What pretty hair you have.  Look at how pretty your dress is.”   Boys get to be told they are smart, but everyone goes straight to a physical attribute to compliment a little girl.  I liked that article.  My second week of motherhood, I caught myself telling my newborn son how smart he is and my newborn daughter how beautiful she is.  The article came to mind as soon as the words left my tongue, leaving a bad taste in my mouth.  I now make a conscience effort to tell my daughter how smart and beautiful she is.  I was torn telling her how beautiful she is, as she shouldn’t find her self worth lies in her looks, but she is so darned beautiful I can’t help but tell her. I also tell my son how handsome and smart he is. 

As I said earlier, I want my son to be a feminist too.  I want my son to grow up to be a strong man.  A man who respects women.  A man who treats everyone, regardless of gender, race, sexual preference, age, religion, appearance, the size of their bank account with the same respect.  I want to raise my daughter to also respect those around her regardless of their gender, race, sexual preference, age, religion, appearance and the size of their bank account.  I want them to walk into work and greet the janitor the same way they greet the CEOs.  I want them to be themselves and not put on a show for anyone.  We in turn will love them for who they are and whatever their life’s choices may be, as long as they aren’t assholes.   I may be idealistic, but too bad, I am going to raise nice kids who treat people equally.  Unless you are moronic mermaid who wants to change yourself to be someone you are not.    

Return to my Job Working OUTSIDE of my House

I'm baaaaaccckkkk!   As I have a proper lunch break again, I find  myself with a bit of time to myself.  I always enjoy writing as a way to clear my head.  Not sure if people care to read the ramblings of a crazy woman, but here they are :

My babies turned one this past week, I can not fathom how fast the time has flown.  People warned me that time would fly, and I would just say, oh I am sure.  But I had no concept how fast time actually flew.  I am so excited to see how far the twins have come in a year.  I was excited/sad/nervous anticipating leaving them and returning to my job (hence the proper lunch break now).  As it turned out, I worried for the most part for nothing, as my little family survived our first week with me back to work (ing outside the house.  Cause let me tell you, no job can compare to the work a baby causes INSIDE the house.  One should NEVER, EVER scoff at a stay at home parent.  One has no idea how much work a child causes unless you are there 24 hours a day with them.  Sorry, that was a rant I have been saving up for a while, I digress…) 

Both kids picked up the nasty cold/flu bug going around, so they were tired and felt like crap so they may not have noticed me even being gone in the first place.  Work around the house has come to a stand still with exception of course to immediate care of the children.   My husband beats me home and is with the kids about two hours before I get there.  When I walk in the door he has a meal warmed up that I prepared while I was still on mat leave.  We then bathe the kids, play with them for a bit, feed them a bottle and out they go for the night.  We then lay comatose on the couch, grunting sweet nothings at each other.  Once we get a few more weeks under our belts, I am sure we will have it down pat, but so far so good.  With the exception of Wednesday night, everything went seemingly well.  Ahhh Wednesday night when neither kid wanted to come to me, and I was sick, tired and felt like pooh and had a hard time grasping why my children wanted nothing to do with me for the first time in their lives.  That same night I got head butted in the ear and barfed on.  That was a shitty night.  Last night was much better as while they have terrible coughs still, they bounced all over me like a trampoline.  And they give hugs which is the greatest thing ever.  I don’t even have to ask, they just stop mid play, run over, hug me and run back to play.  All the warm mushy feelings right there. 

I am no expert, as I have only been at this a week, but I came up with a list of a few things I found helpful for the transition of me working outside the home a bit more easier:

• A few days prior to the return to work date, invite someone over to watch the kid(s).  Grandparents love this, as you are in the house for emergencies but they get free play reign while you take on tasks in other rooms.

• Give the house a good cleaning a day or two before you return to work date.  This way you can ease into balancing working at work and being a parent at the same time and not have to worry so much about cleanliness.

• I hope you have spent your mat leave trying to get used to a messy house, it ain’t going to magically get better, until I imagine your kids are old enough to enslave, I mean, help you with the mess. 

• Cook as much food in advance for dinners.  The freezer is my best friend.  I tried to cook one meal a day, that we would also eat for dinner that night, but cook enough for an army and freeze in individual meals servings.  A God Send I tell you.  I came home to a home cooked meal every night this week, and my husband just had to dump a container on a plate and pop in the microwave/oven while he entertained two one year olds.
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•  I am neurotic and I planned a one month dinner schedule.  This way there is no standing infront of the fridge hmming and haaing.  We know to pull out a meal the night before to thaw and if we don't feel like chilli that night, we switch it out for the next scheduled meal.  We are bad for "I don't know what to make, let's order out."  Far more cost efficient, and healthier to have it scheduled a head, and a lot less stress too.

• We have tried to buy clothing for the next few sizes for the kids.  Their next sized clothing is all ready to go: washed, folded and put away.  They may not need it for a few months, but I don’t have to do a massive cleanup job while juggling work and kids.

• We have the bad habit of waiting until all of the laundry is done to fold it.  Hey, we are busy, at least it’s clean.  However, folding six loads of laundry in one sitting really sucks balls, so we are trying really hard to keep on top of it. 

• I try to pick out my clothes and the kids’ clothes the night before, for the next day.  Mornings are chaotic.  The more we can do the night before we do.  I prepare some of their food and beverages for the next day and my own lunch the night before.  It’s easier for me as my husband leaves for work early, this means I am on single parent duty until I get out the front door, the more I can do the night before with the extra parent in the house, the better.

• Screw everything else when you get home.  Your kids are only young once, I want to soak up every moment I can with them.