Week 28

Holy sh*tballs, (I am trying to curb my potty mouth as I will soon have two impressionable young'uns running around.)  I have 3.5 weeks left to work!  I was told by the midwives and the doctor to go off at 31 weeks.  I am currently in week 28.  It’s funny how the summer dragged and I felt it would take an eternity to meet my babies but we are now in the home stretch.  Week 28 is the first week of the third trimester! 

The question I get asked the most at this stage is “How are you feeling?”  The answer is now: super tired and gargantuan. 

I have entered my insomnia stage of pregnancy.  I get exactly four hours of sleep and bam! I have to pee and my brain is wide awake.  It doesn’t matter what time I go to bed at, 9pm, 10pm, 1am, four hours later I am up.  It makes for very long days and I feel like a zombie.  I have to laugh when everyone says “this is your time to sleep before the babies comes.”  Yeah, that hasn’t been working out so well.

I feel huge.  Last time I was at the doctors, he measured my belly and then said “I am suppose to take this measurement, but for your case it’s pointless as you have two babies.”  I said, “For curiosity sake, if I were carrying a singleton, what would I be measuring?”  He chuckled and said “You’d be ready to pop.”  So there you have it, I am the size of a full termed, singleton Mom.  The last three weeks I feel like we (the three of us) have all gone through a huge growth spurt.  We are right on track weight wise, the doctor told me he had never seen such perfect sized twins before, they are the text book size of what a singleton should be.  As twins usually run small, he was impressed and told me I am “feeing them well.”  I have to admit that was a feather in my cap. 

Anything I read for twins stresses how important it is for their weight gain, more so then a singleton.  Currently our daughter is 2 pounds and 7 ounces and our son is 2 pounds and 9 ounces.  I had an ultra sound yesterday and that’s their latest weights.  They are nearly bang on, which is also great for twins.  I have an ultra sound every three weeks as they need to monitor that both babies are growing at some what equal weights.  They don’t want me having a 10 pound baby and a two pound baby.   So we are right on track!

So we got the important stuff out of the way, now let’s proceed to the bitching:

I officially had to buy new bras on the weekend.  I have gone up two cup sizes!  (I hope I get to keep them!)  No one tells you that gargantuan boobies rubbing on a gargantuan belly results in rug burn.  Like excruciating rug burn.  What the hell man?  How is that fair?!?!?!

Everyone kept telling me to wait until you have a foot in the rib, they don’t tell you it’s like someone is stabbing you from the inside.  The pressure on a rib is ridiculous.  If you see me out and about with my hand under my boob, I am trying to rub the kids foot down.  (Which also sucks as I have to rub on the rug burn.)

I am swollen.  I can’t wear my rings.  I can’t fit in my shoes.  I saw the ugliest pair of clogs at Joe Fresh and scoffed, who would wear those?!?!  It will be me with my next pay cheque. 

Trying to get up from the laying down position must be comical to watch as I laugh at my own self, there are arms and legs flailing about like a turtle stuck upside down as I try to propel myself over/up. 

I got stuck on the floor for the first time last week, I was in the middle of the foyer with nothing to grab on to hoist myself up.  Luckily my husband was there and is built like Eric the Red, and he took hold of my arm like I was weightless and I was back on my feet in the blink of an eye.  (I didn’t even have to ask, he just helped me up, he’s awesome)

We signed up with a whole whack of baby courses put on by the Region.  Last week we had our first one, the car seat safety course.  I now live in fear of Kleenex box projectiles, if it’s not bolted down, they say to put it in the trunk, and that is where it will be going.

Eghad!  Where did the time go, I will have to post more later!