Since July, I think I have been asked "Are you excited?!?!?"
About 3000 times. Seriously.
I am excited, I just seem to wince now whenever I am asked that
question. I feel like I am in Ground Hog day. Then people look all worried or
concerned when I grimace and say yes. I am grimacing as the question is so over
used, lol. It's worse when the SAME person asks you it everytime they see you,
the answer is still yes! Or at the end of the day when you are tired and have
heard the question about 40 times already that day. I don't mind variations
like "How exciting!" Or "I am so excited for you!" I
apologize to any woman I have asked that question to, especially if I have
asked it more then once.
My co-worker was telling me she could see my daughter's head and my
son's head while looking at my belly. As she was staring at my belly from the
front and I was looking down, we saw my son's head move forward and then back
in. It was really crazy. First time I have SEEN my belly move. And it was so
funny as it was like he heard us talking about his head and he was like
"Yup, here's my head." When I called Paulie at lunch, he stated
"That's the creepiest thing ever." Hahahaha.
Righty did a summersault on my bladder, first time I felt
one. Incredibly weird. Actually stopped me in mid-step. Either that or the
potatoes I ate for dinner last night fused back together and were rolling
around in my intestines.
Sneezing while pregnant has become somewhat of an extreme sport due to
my little bundles of joys (aka my lil turd bombers) putting pressure on my
bladder and my sciatic nerve. While pregnant, if you feel a sneeze and need to
go to the bathroom, don't make any stops along the way, go directly to the
washroom. Also, you don't realize your butt cheeks are involved in a sneeze
until you get locked up mid step from a sneeze. (Hands down worse sciatic nerve
seize up to date)
Etiquette for dealing with a pregnant lady: if you insist on
touching her belly (at least be courteous and ASK first) do NOT TOUCH the TOP
of the stomach near my boobs. It's the most awkward part of people touching my
belly. Touch the sides at the mid-section or the very front of the mid-section.
My sciatic nerve is a fucking bitch. If I could kick its ass I would,
however I can't lift my foot to even get in the damned car.
On a more positive
note, I LOVE this weather (Chilli for dinner, what!) And I felt Righty all day
long today. Up until today, I only felt Righty kick once (it was very forceful)
On another bright note, my husband rocks and has the nursery nearly done. (As I
am useless, I painted the window frame and one wall's baseboard before my arse
seized up so bad, it took me five minutes to get up off the floor. It'll all be
worth it in the end, but seriously, I would take morning sickness a thousand
times over the sciatic nerve issue.)
Ongoing conversation between me and my two junk food addict tenants:
Lefty: Hey Mom! Mom! Mom!
Me: Yes? Stop laying my bladder
please.
Lefty: Mom, know what sounds really
good right now? A McDonald’s Big Mac!
Righty: OOOOOhhhhh, that sounds
good! I want one! I want one!
Me: How do you guys know what a
Big Mac is? I haven’t had one in eight years. You weren’t even conceived yet.
Righty: We remember when we were
eggs, hanging out waiting to be dropped.
Lefty: Yeah, those were good
times.
Me: Guys. I can’t have
McDonald’s, they cook with Soya Bean Oil. I am allergic. For reals. Not even
pulling the douchey parent thing and lying about it. I could die. (Not
actually, its just a mild allergy, but shhh) And you should be thankful as I
would be 700 pounds now if I was still able to eat McDonald’s.
Lefty: Ahhhhh Mom. Come on.
Me: No.
Lefty and Righty:
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Me: I said NO.
Righty: No FAIR!!!!
Me: Both of you, stop kicking my
bladder!
Lefty and Righty: Big Mac! Big
Mac! Big Mac!
Seriously. This conversation
happens multiple times a day. Every day.
August 24: Yesterday, I had a giant kick from Righty. I am
now guessing what I have been feeling from Lefty is Lefty's hands poking at my
side, because this was a full on powerful kick from Righty. Different
intensity. Again my first reaction was "What's going on with my
intestines. Never felt that before." Then I remembered it was probably one
of my tenants using my insides as a trampoline.
Subway Turkey sub (I told
Paulie, on the way home from the hospital we are stopping for subs. The veggie
sub is alright and ties me over, but I want the meat! That's what she said)
Pepperoni pizza (seriously, what
is pizza without pepperoni??!?? Cheesy bread is what it is)
Which leads to wieners and beans
Any sandwich/deli meat
(If its ready to eat meat, I am to avoid it. apparently I can eat it if its boiled, who the fuck does that?!?!)
Feta cheese. (Normally, I don't
give two shits about Feta, but it was on the list, and then that's all I can
think about.)
Blue cheese. (Same as feta, bah)
Apparently pregnant women can have problems with their
sciatic nerve. I think my left sciatic nerve is acting up. I feel like my butt
cheek is seized up and needs a shot of WD40. Let me tell you, these kids are
going to regret pissing me off when they are teenagers. I got my rant ready for
them: I had morning sickness for nine
months straight, 24 hours a day; I ended up crippled from my sciatic nerve; I
was in labour for a week for each or you; when I went into labour, I had to
walk to the hospital, both ways, uphill, in a blizzard, with no shoes on. Now
do your homework.
Yes. I have twins in my family on my Dad's side. They are fraternal, they are not identical (identical
means identical DNA, it’s not genetically possible to have true “identical”
twins that are a boy and a girl.
July 25 - Yesterday someone told me I didn't look pregnant, just that I was look like I am gaining weight in my stomach area. I feel like I should be insulted by this? When relaying this to my husband, he replied "Why do you keep talking to stupid people? Just do what I do and don't talk to people." Fair enough.
Not complaining about being pregnant. I am beyond excited.
Nobody wants to hear about the rainbows and butterflies in my thoughts.
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