Throughout my entire pregnancy, people seem to be dying to tell me every worse case pregnancy/delivery/infant story possible. I don't mind if it happened to the actual story teller, it's their experience and they may be traumatized and need to share it. That I have NO problem with. I am talking about the stories that someone "heard about their fourth cousin's Mom's Best Friend's Neighbour's husband's aunt." I feel like it becomes an urban legend at that stage, but regardless, I know these things can happen to babies and Moms. But why the need to tell me? I am a high anxiety individual, I don't need to hear any more worse case scenarios as chances are I have already worried about them and all these stories do is validate the fear in my head. I truly think the people who share these stories are not intending to be malicious, and scare the crap out of me. I think they are so over come with the story that feel they have to warn me about it. Don't!!! If it sounds like an awful story DON'T TELL THE PREGNANT LADY!!!
Let's think of it this way:
Did this story happen to you? If yes then tell it.
Did this story happen to a close family member or friend? If yes then maybe tell it. Does it sound awful but is a valid concern? Maybe tell it.
If this story did not happen to anyone above, DON'T tell it.
If the story is so extreme that you have only heard it happen that one time DON'T tell it.
I don't need to hear about babies dying, one legged babies, babies who were born with their legs fused together, babies born with a tail, I don't need to hear about babies dropped on the floor, babies who needed to be resuscitated, babies who suffocated in bed with their parents, suffocated next to their sibling, suffocated in general, babies born with extra sets of ears or any extra body part for that matter.
(Also don't tell me my baby in my 3D ultra sound looks like he has an extra ear coming out of his forehead. I will laugh and say you're an idiot and point out it's totally a shadow. But then a couple of months later, when I am laying awake at 3am with angry uterus, it's going to pop into my mind "what if my baby has a third ear growing out of his forehead?" I am madly in love with this little guy already. A third ear won't make me love him any less. In fact my Momma Bear instincts kick into over drive and I am like MY BABY WILL BE THE AWESOMEST BABY EVER AS HE HAS THE ABILITY TO GROW THREE EARS UNLIKE ALL OF THOSE BORING TWO EAR BABIES. I digress...)
I definitely don't need to be told to "get your sleep in now" when I mention how I haven't slept all night. I KNOW. It's common sense I need sleep and TRUST ME I WANT TO SLEEP. I would if I could.
Don't tell me how your boyfriend's sister in law wore full makeup and jewellery to her delivery and how she only gained five pounds during her pregnancy. You're full of shit.
Don't ask me how much I have gained. I ain't telling you that. All I can say is I am very close to what the doctor told me to gain, twins need the weight. My goal was to make sure they weren't under weight. Goal achieved!
Here is my twin rant:
I am NOT having a singleton. I have two babies. Two big babies. I gained the extra weight as per my doctor's instructions. Don't warn me to not eat too much. (Especially if you are just an acquaintance) I was instructed to gain weight. My uterus is stretched to a 50ish week gestation. Yes, singleton Moms will know to a degree what I am experiencing but my 15 pounds of babies is not the same as a singleton at 6 pounds. All Moms experience pain, and when I am up all night with pain, don't dismiss it. Please don't try to scare me about how much work it's going to be. EVERYBODY TELLS ME THIS. LOL. STOP!!! I can imagine singleton parents are thinking of how much work they had/have to do and are doubling it. All of the multiple books say this is common, they say for multiple parents to look at it as you are already doing the task, you are just going to do a second baby as well. Some of the tasks are doubled, some aren't. I don't think people are intentionally trying to scare me, they are just reliving what they have been through and thinking what if there had been two. I know it's innocent but when EVERYBODY does it, it eats at my brain.
Back to my regular pregnant rant:
Don't warn me about my cat and the babies. I know. I will be keeping them separate as much as possible. I will not let my cat sleep in the crib. I will not let my dog sleep in the crib either. I will not shove my babies in my dog's face. I will not leave my babies unattended with our pets. I read the paper, I see the awful stories. I am obviously going to be a parent to my fur less babies first, but I am going to be a good pet owner throughout. I will take precautions so nothing awful happens.
Don't tell pregnant women bad things!!!
